xXx: Return of Xander Cage

I tried to go into this film with a simplified mind; I wasn’t going to complain about the plot holes or physical improbabilities, I was going to try and enjoy myself. However, xXx: Return of Xander Cage, the third installment of the franchise, goes below even my lowest expectations.

xXx: Return of Xander Cage brings back the character if Xander (Vin Diesel) who is recruited again by the NSA after a satellite controlling device called “Pandora’s Box” is stolen by a group of skilled renegades. Xander puts together a team and goes out hunting across the globe.

The franchise was very much similar to the Fast and Furious one in many ways apart from Vin Diesel as its star; there are crazy stunts, heist plot points, and the use of women simply as goggling objects. But xXx somehow makes all these exciting elements of its premise be completely dull.

First is the story, which not only is as predictable as anything made in Hollywood today, but it seems to have been made by a 9-year-old playing with action figures. The dialogue seems to have been plugged into Google Translate in a different language, and then copied and pasted onto the screen. And then the plot itself is incredibly frustrating, not only for gaping plot holes that are incredibly hard to ignore (like how Xander was killed in the second film of the franchise and yet he appears here with no explanation whatsoever), but also for its complete ignorance of simple logic.

As for the women in the film, all were undoubtedly cast for their good looks, but that’s not new in Hollywood; what bothered me was that their characters were as shallowly written as those in a porno, you wonder if the screenwriters have ever really interacted with a female. The only person who seems to salvage the entire fate of this gender in the film is Bollywood star Deepika Padukone, who is easily the best thing in the film.

Director D. J. Caruso does add his own signature tone with some lazy introductions typed onto the screen when introducing new characters, but overall this is a desperate money grab. Maybe the studio thought that audiences would flock to a simplified action film, but the problem is that there is a big difference between simplicity and stupidity.

4.2/10